Jesus is Just The Boss' Kid

I was thinking about this the other day and it hit me. Jesus is just The Big Boss’ kid. I was floored when I thought of him this way. It totally makes sense, of course. It’s been there all this time. But it was a way of looking at Jesus that I’d never once considered before. Jesus, just the Boss’ kid.

We all know stories of rich, powerful, successful men who start companies and promote their son’s to important positions within the corporation. Occasionally, the son being promoted is a talented, competent individual who can not only do the job he’s promoted to, but actually excel at it. Many times, however, the son owes his position strictly to his relationship with The Big Boss, his dad. This is actually a model we can use for looking at Jesus and his role in Heaven.

Now, one might object to this way of thinking. Many Christians, I think would. For many, if not most Christians, Jesus is the Lord and Savior. But, is he, really? Is he really the Lord? Isn’t God the Lord? I mean, after all, God is the one that created the universe. He created Earth too. And man. Woman too. Heaven. Hell. The angels. Everything, really. It’s quite a resume. Jesus created…..? Yeah. Exactly. Nothing. Not a darn thing. So, his case for being “Lord” is kinda’ shaky, just from an experiential point of view. In fact, one can argue that, not only is Jesus not “the Lord” but he’s also, not all that special in his own right.

Now, a lot of Christians would step up right about now to object and argue that Jesus’ miracles are proof of his specialness. It’s a compelling argument on the surface. He raised Lazarus from the dead, turned water into wine, cured a leper, gave sight to the blind…..amazing stuff. But did he do these things on his own or did he do them with the help of his dad, God? It’s a good question. Let’s say, for the time being, that Jesus’ miracles are actually Acts of God and that God merely used Jesus as his instrument to perform these acts. One could say that by being chosen as God’s instrument Jesus is still very special but, actually, lots of people have served God as his instrument. Samson has God to thank for his great strength, right? King David was an instrument of God. Daniel, too. All served God in their own way, be it with wisdom or courage or just pure brute strength. Of course, none of them has Jesus’ resume, so, it’s easy to write their service off. But, what about someone like Noah? No Noah, no need for Jesus. Ever think of that? If God hadn’t entrusted Noah with keeping Earth going at the time of The Great Flood, all his creation would’ve been destroyed, man included. If he wiped the slate 100% clean, then there'd have been no need for Jesus’ sacrifice later. Jesus wouldn’t have ever mattered.

Then there’s the case of Moses. Moses turned a staff into a snake, no? Parted the Red Sea too. Pretty impressive stuff. Only, we know that Moses did nothing on his own. All of Moses’ “magic” is the result of God working through him, of God using Moses as his instrument. Perhaps this same scenario was at work with Jesus. Maybe Jesus didn’t turn any water into wine, maybe God did, acting through his son. God has a history of acting through human agents that extends way beyond the Bible and its records.

From the 19^th Century onwards, we have story after story of evangelical Christian preachers and ministers “laying on the hands”, healing the sick, giving sight to the blind, helping the lame to walk. Now, we might not take these stories at face value. To be sure, there have been some Christian charlatans out there who’ve faked their own “miracles”. But, that said, for those cases we see as true, it’s just further evidence of God working through instruments. I’ve never heard a preacher or minister claim that their own godlike powers helped heal the sick or restore sight to the blind, always they’ve credited God with the “miracle”, simply giving themselves credit of performing an assist. The Catholics do the same, of course. When a priest performs an exorcism and drives out a demon, he’s not the one actually doing the driving out, God is. The priest is simply working as God’s instrument in performing the act.

So, it’s very possible that Jesus had no powers himself and that everything he ever did he did as an instrument of God. It was God who raised Lazarus. It was God who cured a leper. Jesus was just the tool God used to get the work done. Clearly there’s precedence for that sort of thing, as we’ve already seen above. But, what does that do to the image of Jesus?

Well, if Jesus didn’t do anything, and he was merely God’s instrument, he’s hardly that important then, is he? It’s hard to think of him as “The Lord” if he didn’t actually do anything. He may be God’s son, but, like the son who owes his position to his dad’s power, Jesus is a rather impotent figure, incapable of doing anything on his own.

But, Jesus is actually half God, right? He got half of his DNA from God. Half from Mary, human DNA, and half from God, divine DNA. (Makes him rather like Obama in being bi-racial, kinda’, don’t you think?) If he has half God DNA in him, doesn’t it stand to reason that he’s not a normal man, but, rather, like, a semi-God? He’d have his own powers then, wouldn’t he? Powers he could use as he saw fit, to raise the dead, to cure the sick, to create an instant winery. This is a plausible explanation for Jesus’ powers based on his parentage. Makes sense. But, even here we run into some problems.

First off, if Jesus has his own powers, he’s not really a man and his sacrifice, the one thing that we all really owe him for, becomes less impressive. If he can raise the dead, he can raise himself. No problem. Hard to even say he’s dead, at least in a sense we’d understand. How dead can you be when you can cure death at any moment? Isn’t that a defining aspect of death, its permanence? If you’re 100% human and you sacrifice yourself for others, it’s a pretty powerful act. You are giving up all you have, and all you’ll ever have, for others. If you’ve got godlike powers and can raise yourself from the dead anytime you want, how impressive is that? Doesn’t it make your death a sham of sorts? A parlor trick? What sort of sacrifice are we talking about here?

Of course, we can go back to Jesus not having any powers of his own and argue that, even then, his sacrifice is flawed. He’s God’s kid, right? And he knows it. So, what kind of sacrifice is he making, really? He knows he’s going to be with his dad in Heaven. He knows that with the sort of certainty no human has. There’s absolutely no chance Jesus is going to Hell after he dies. He’s merely going home. The human uncertainty in regards to death and what comes after is one of the things that defines us as who we are. If we all knew what happened and what would happen to us, a lot of us might well choose death over life and shuck off this mortal coil. But the not knowing is what makes one sacrificing their life so special. This doesn’t apply to Jesus, as we’ve seen. He knows what’s coming up, even if we assume he had no power to do anything about it.

If Jesus has his own powers, this may be problematic for his sacrifice and resurrection, but, what about his “Lord” status? It’d help that though, wouldn’t it? Well…..not really. Where’d Jesus get his powers from? His dad, God. Who’s more powerful, Jesus or God? Well, God, obviously. Even if he has his own powers, Jesus can’t do anything that God doesn’t okay. Let’s say God wanted Jesus to change water into lemonade, instead of wine. Jesus wants wine. Who’s going to win that tug of war? God, of course. If there’s a disagreement as to whether someone gets into Heaven, Jesus might argue eloquently one way or another but, in the end, it’s always God’s say.

One way around all this is to say that God and Jesus are the same, but, that doesn’t work out either, does it. If Jesus is God, then he can’t be his own son and he can’t be a human being who sacrifices himself for other human beings simply because he’s, well, God. So, arguing that Jesus is “the Lord” is, well, problematic. He’s not really “the Lord” of anything. What he is is the Big Boss’ son and, as such, a company representative.

When God sends Jesus down to Earth, we can see this as akin to a mafia don sending his son on a mission to the local deli to straighten things out. God, like the mafia don, is frustrated with the state of things. He counts on his #1 guy, his blood, his kid, to work out a resolution that works. God does this by figuring that if anyone can fix things on Earth, it’s his kiddo. He sends Jesus on a mission, as his personal representative. Once on Earth, Jesus does the job of representing quite well. He preaches his father’s word. He performs miracles. He gets people excited about his dad’s message and product. As a salesperson for his father, Jesus does quite a good job. As a fixer though, he’s not that great. He isn’t able to change things the way he might want, or the way God might want. To save his mission, he sacrifices himself so that his dad will take it easy on the rest of humanity. The Big Boss needed someone’s head to roll. It was either going to be his kid or everybody else. He settled for his kid.

Of course, why God would need to send a rep to straighten things out is kind of hard to figure. Things were bad once before. God sent a flood. The flood led to a Earth do-over and then, many years later, tadah! We’re right back where we were the first time. So, God sent his kid to fix it. But, of course, being all knowing and all powerful, God could’ve fixed it anytime he wanted. Any time. Just like that! Snap of the fingers. He is God, after all. He may have thought that putting a human face out there would be better, you know, to work with. Maybe humans would be more receptive to a human messenger. Hence, the need to send his kid. And, as a messenger and a salesman, Jesus excelled. He was very good about getting people hyped about the product and the message. He’s still the ultimate salesperson even today. He couldn’t get the change he wanted by simply selling and representing though, so, he had to give himself, literally body and soul, for the rest of us.

If we look at Jesus this way, as the heroic salesman who sacrifices himself for all of us, he sort of comes out looking really good. It’s understandable why we all feel strongly for him. We owe him one. But even here, there are problems. God stands outside of time. Imagine that. For God, the past, the present and the future are all viewable, at any time. Just like that. So, if God is outside of time and unaffected by time you could argue that he’s always known how everything would go do down from before time even began. If that’s so, he knew all about Jesus’ sacrifice and how he wasn’t going to destroy humanity all over again and that, through his son’s sacrifice he’d grant humans eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven, all before anything ever happened. Hard to be a hero if everything was pre-ordained to begin with. God, as the Author of the Universe, knew the entire story before he even wrote it down. Kinda’ anti-climactic.

This anti-climax applies to the end of the world as we know it as well. Jesus will step in, after Judgment Day and the Resurrection, to rule Heaven on Earth. Here’s another instance of people giving Jesus “Lord”-like powers. It sounds really exciting and wonderful but, like so much of what we think of when we think of Jesus, it’s simply not true. Jesus may very well rule Heaven on Earth but he rules it at his father’s discretion. It’s only because God lets Jesus rule anything that he does. Think of Star Wars if you will. Darth Vader rules many things but he only rules them because Emperor Palpatine lets him. Same deal here with Jesus and his pop, God. Heaven on Earth won’t be the Kingdom of Christ, it’ll be the Kingdom of God, where God let’s his kid hang out and seem like he’s doing something. Not too unlike The Big Boss giving his son some important sounding project and title at the company just to help make him look good.

When we think of Jesus we get all worked up and misty-eyed thinking about some very important being, a VIB if you will. But, in reality, Jesus isn’t anything more than the boss’ kid. That’s it. He has no power of his own, and, even if he does, he can’t use it without his dad’s permission. His sacrifice was possibly a sham, if he had his own powers, and not much of a real sacrifice, even if he didn’t. He can’t lead Heaven on Earth at the end of times because, at best, he’s merely the company representative, the PR man, the face of God, Inc.. Many think of Jesus as Lord but really, he’s an eternal heir in waiting, doomed to always serve his father, waiting for the keys to the Throne of Heaven to become his and forever being denied. Jesus, after all, is just The Big Boss’ son. And The Big Boss is forever.