Erotic Microshort: Murphy's Law

The following is a piece of erotic microfiction and is intended for readers 18 and older. If you're under the age of 18 please leave this page now. Thank you.

 

"I'm sorry, but, it must be a malfunction." Sally's voice changed. Big time. She wasn't talking in her sultry, sexy tone as she had before. She know sounded very official, very neutral, very, well, robotic.

"A wha?!" Jerry's voice was tense. The hotel room had been comfortable, in that computer programmed perfect comfortable kind of way. Now though, he could feel himself starting to sweat.

"I've notified maintenance. They're sending someone up right now. It happens sometimes."

"Maintenance? You what? Oh Christ! I need to be meeting my wife at a dinner party in a half an hour!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Murphy. These things happen. If you'll just relax..."

"Relax? Relax? How the fuck can I relax when my dick is caught in your, your, pussy? I mean, I thought this sort of thing was safer! That's why I came to you people, er, things."

Unit A8731, commonly known in the Lambert Adult Services Corporation as Sally ('Mustang' Sally to some, for the rough and ready way she was programmed to ride her customers) didn't take offense. She wasn't the newest of the new, though, even now, she had weathered well. Her model series, the Elegante Psuedohuman Adult Pleasure System had been ahead of it's time. With proper maintenance it was expected she'd be able to serve another four or five years until her systems needed a major overhaul. At that point the cost of upgrading would be simply too much compared to buying one of the new models coming out of Korea or China.

"These maintenance guys, they'll know what to do, right? They can fix this?"

"I believe so. I believe a piece of my vaginal wall molding simply came loose and has trapped your erect member inside me. I don't think it will lead to any permanent damage. The maintenance crew should be here shortly. I'm going to go into sleep mode now. It will make it easier for them to assist you when they arrive."

"Permanent damage?" Jerry was really sweating now. He knew the new adult entertainment systems were supposed to be much safer than human prostitutes. Need to knock one out, you go to the advanced 'toys'. With a bleach solution douche between customers followed by a saline flush they were STD free and programmed to perform even the most intricate acts of the fabled Kama Sutra. He hadn't expected anything to go wrong. He just wanted to hit it quick, get some stress out from work, and be on his way. After thirteen years of marriage his wife had never let him hit it from behind, doggie style. He missed it, remembering back to his wanton lustful youth at how good it felt to get in behind and just pound it out.

Jerry hadn't felt this awkward since his first time. The room's subdued lighting, the Barry White, playing in the background, it was all perfect. Sally was great too. That was her name, but, he knew, she didn't really have a name, not a real one anyway. As tense and scared as he was, he marvelled at how realistic she was, how close to life her skin was. Even know, with the malfunction, her body, if it was the right word to use, acted like a human body, to the extent that was possible. Instead of being 'wet' as she had been when they'd started, she was totally dry now, dry, metallic and cold.

Jerry wondered what his wife would think. It wasn't really cheating, he comforted himself. Cheating involved another person, not a machine. The permanent damage thing though...that was unexpected.

The door opened behind him. He couldn't turn his head to see really but he heard someone coming in the room.

"Mr. Murphy, I'm Ted Kozwalzki, this is my partner in crime, Eddie Roybal. We're here to help you out of your, umm, situation."

The two maintenance men stood on either side of the bed, looking things over. Jerry still felt tense but figured things would be getting better now that help was here.

"What we're gonna' do here Mr. Murphy is we're gonna' aim for a double penetration. I'm gonna' go in with some clamps and a flashlight to see if I can peel the molding all the way back, giving your cock a chance to come on out. You may feel the cold metal of the clamps along your shaft. Not to worry. I'm not going to be grabbing you or pinching you or nothing. Got it? You ok?" Ted, Jerry figured in a case like this everyone was on a first name basis, slapped him on the back. He chewed his gum and slapped on some vinyl gloves. His salt and pepper hair gave him an air of authority and experience. He knelt down along Jerry and turned on his flashlight.

"This sort of thing, umm, happen often?"

"No sir. Not too often. But it happens. As with any technology, there's breakdowns, unexpected glitches." Eddie smiled, reassuringly. "Some piece of work, eh Mr. Murphy? They just don't make 'em like good ole' Sally here anymore." He reached out and slapped her, er, it, on its bare ass.

"I mean, really, feel that skin. That's good stuff. I still think this was a better pathway than the new synth stuff they're using now. Softer. More pliable. Takes more damage, true, but it feels so real. And that pussy, that's just something else right there."

Eddie bent over and took a conspiratorial tone. "These pussies were the first ever to be designed to custom fit the operator. Seriously. They expand to fit the dick that goes in there. Perfect fit, guaranteed, every time. In fact, if this had been an older model, you'd have been able to wiggle your dick out on your own, you would have had that much room to work with. But not ole' Sally here!" He slapped her, er, it, on the ass again. "Not Sally. Perfect fit man, perfect fit. Your snug as can be in there."

"Mr. Murphy, can you feel my clamp, running along your shaft?" Ted was bent over looking seriously into the dark recesses of Sally's machinery.

"I feel some pressure, kinda'."

"No coldness? Just pressure?"

"Yeah. I don't feel anything cold."

"Hmmm."

Jerry felt himself getting nervous. He didn't like the sound of that.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, the way this molding is in there, it could be cutting blood supply to your cock. That could be why you only feel pressure, you know, and not the coldness. They sure designed these cunts good. Fuck. It's really tight in there."

Jerry watched as Ted tried to get some movement in the stuck vaginal molding. Eddie kept talking about the finer points of Sally's production line but Jerry was suddenly obsessed with Ted's efforts. He couldn't feel the cold, was all he could think about. What did it mean? How bad was it?

Ted pulled back, looking flustered. "Ok. I'm gonna' have to go get some more tools. Don't worry. I think it's gonna' be ok. It's just a little tighter in there than I figgered." He patted Jerry on the back and headed for the door.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck!"

"Calm down man. It's gonna' be ok. You heard what Ted said. He'll take care of it. He's good like that."

"I just wanted a stress reliever, you know? Something quick, something easy." Jerry fought off the urge to look at his cell phone for the time. He wasn't going to make the dinner party, his wife was going to be pissed.

"I hear ya' man. I hear ya'. We all got to knock it out sometime. Totally understand."

"I just, I just can't believe this shit. I mean, why did this shit have to happen to me? I can't believe this!"

Eddie smiled, knowingly. "There is just no such thing as a simple piece of ass."

Copyright, M.R. Caffery, 2007. All Rights Reserved.